5th post

Today was an amazing day. My friend April was IMing a friend, call him S.. S. was feeling depressed, and attempted suicide. I know, this doesn't sound amazing, it sounds morbid. Let me continue. I was at FHE with my sisters when April came in the room crying, so we asked what was wrong and she told the story, and I gave a blessing with the help of my roommate Richard. Then our sister drove us to her friend's apt. and my roommate and I gave a blessing to S., then the elder's quorem president came and he and his councilor annointed him with oil so that he would be better. When we first came in S. was unable to walk, his sight was blurred and he was stiff as a board, nearly unable to talk, but now, an hour and a half later he was walking around and we talked and joked a bit, the Bishop is talking to him right now, and he will be okay. I know, it takes time, I know it does, but I know how he will look back on this.
What was interesting was when I gave that blessing, it was the first one I gave, I have stood in a few circles, but this was the first one I have given, and I was covered in sweat afterwards, I felt tired after I gave it, but the feeling I had was amazing. And I could feel the faith of April radiating off of her, I have never felt faith that strong coming from anyone I have talked to in person, such a strong spirit, or maybe my own gifts of seeing this are heightened when I am using my priesthood; either way I have never been that overwhelmed by a spiritual feeling before. It makes me want to go on my mission even more.

4th post

I was at Rachel's birthday party yesterday, it was the highlight of my weekend, I know, my band was in parade, and we had our homecoming football game, but neither event was more fun than being with Rachel on her special day.
In accordance to her request to see other people, I have been, the dates were fun, but not as fun, which I think is a problem. If I don't go out on dates as fun as the ones I have with Rachel then am I really doing what she asked? I don't think so. So I was excited when I met April, she is very pretty and pretty smart, and I think that I will have a pretty good time with her this weekend.
Rachel, I hope that your dates yesterday and the day before were fun, the guys you went with were lucky guys.

3rd post

I am still going on dates with the previously mentioned girl, with one stipulation, we are seeing other people, she doesn't want to date exclusively and she doesn't want me to either. Which is okay with me, I would go out with only her if she asked for that, I would do many things if she asked me to do them, she asked me to go out with other girls, so I can do that. It is an interesting feeling, I think I like this arrangement better, it makes it so that when she asks me out I know that it is because she wants to go out with me this time, and not that she wants to go out and is stuck with going with me because we are a couple. The same reciprocally. The other benefit to this arrangement is, if I meet an interesting girl, I don't have to feel bad about getting to know her, maybe asking her to see a movie or something. And I wouldn't have to take a risk with this hypothetical girl, giving up going out with Rachel just to find that the new girl isn't as fun to be with. Rachel was smart to suggest this, I am so lucky to have met her and I hope that we will stay in contact for a long time.

2nd post

I went on a date with a very attractive girl yesterday, and I made a fool of myself, but she still seemed somewhat interested in me. I was told by a few girls (none of whom are the very attractive one previously mentioned) that I was being far too slow with the relationship, that I was not quite doing my job. They said that it wasn't a good thing to not make a pass at a girl, since that denies the girl the privilege of cuddling or forces the girl to make a move (which apparently is not acceptable, I don't really get this, I think a girl should have to feel at least once the complete terror experiences only when deciding whether or not to move the last few inches placing their arm around their special someone). So I thought about that for most of the concert, since the impression I got from the group of girls was that I would lose my date if I didn't make a move now. I figured that if I made the smallest move possible, that would give me sufficient data to decide whether or not I needed to make a bigger move while not possibly stepping over the line and losing her that way. I decided that the next step was either to put my arm around her or to hold her hand, but neither step seemed less forward than the other. So I kept switching positions between having my hand on my leg and having my elbow on the back of my seat, she noticed my moves and thought it hilarious my lack of ability to commit myself to performing either act. So the entire concert when by without anything more happening than her shoulder touching mine. We discussed this while I walked her home, and she apparently was not going to dump me if I didn't do anything, and now I feel like some sort of cad for making her have to worry the whole concert if she would have to be submitted to my base desires. I feel that I lost her trust in me; as I was walking her home I put my hand in my pocket and she drew her hand away, she thought that I was reaching down to hold her hand.

I don’t think that I will ever follow another person’s advice about any relationship I am in; I just wanted to make sure that I wouldn’t lose the most attractive girl I have ever met before I had to lose her. It would be okay if she decided that she like someone else better, or if we were separated by distance or some other reason, but I don’t want to lose her because she thinks I wasn’t interested in her.

So as not to make this post sound too depressing, she still acted as if she would go out with me again.